IHOM (Institute for Healing of Memories) has developed interactive workshops that emphasize the emotional and spiritual understanding of the past. Through an exploration of their personal histories, participants find emotional release. As a group, they gain insight and empathy for the experiences of others. These processes prepare the ground for forgiveness. Working towards reconciliation between people of diverse backgrounds, races, cultures and religions. This dialogue is an opportunity to learn more about healing memories, and to share your experiences, challenges, and successes.
This dialogue was facilitated by the Institute for Healing of Memories based in South Africa. IHOM is a response to the wounds of trauma. Emotional, psychological and spiritual wounds, inflicted on nations, communities and individuals by wars, repressive regimes, human rights abuses and other traumatic events or circumstances. Emotional scars are often carried for a long time. They hinder the individual’s emotional, psychological and spiritual development. Attitudes and prejudices that have developed out of anger and hatred between groups can lead to ongoing conflict and spiraling violence.
Featured Practitioners
The Featured Resource Practitioners that participated in this dialogue were:
- Fr. Michael Lapsley of the Institute for the Healing of Memories, South Africa
- Glenda Wildschut of the Institute for the Healing of Memories, South Africa
- Dr. Donald Shriver, Former president – Union Seminary in New York, USA
- Evelyn Lennon of the Center for Victims of Torture, USA
- Amber Elizabeth Gray of the Torture Abolition and Survivors Support Coalition International (TASSC), USA
- Kaethe Weingarten, Ph.D. of the Harvard Medical School and Director of the Witnessing Project, USA
- Zvi Bekerman of the School of Education, Melton Center, The Hebrew University, Jerusalem
The themes to be discussed in this dialogue include:
Summary of the dialogue
The themes discussed in this dialogue included:
The conversation highlighted the importance of acknowledgment for healing individuals, communities, and nations. It began with a reflection on surviving a traumatic event and the transformative power of global messages of support and listening to personal stories. Participants emphasized the distinction between knowledge and acknowledgment, noting that true healing begins when wrongs, such as torture or historical oppression, are publicly recognized.
From Victim to Victimizer
They discussed cycles of victimization, where unaddressed trauma can lead victims to become victimizers, as seen in intimate spaces, nations, and transgenerational contexts like Israel and South Africa. Healing of Memories workshops were introduced as a method to provide safe spaces for storytelling, acknowledgment, and emotional release. These workshops have been used globally to help individuals and communities address past pain, let go of destructive feelings, and foster reconciliation. The dialogue underscored the shared humanity across cultures and the need for healers to pursue their own journeys of healing.
Acknowledging our Suffering in order to heal
The conversation explored how suffering should be individually acknowledged and not compared or grouped, as experiences differ and shape healing uniquely. Participants noted that attempts to equate suffering stem from a misplaced notion of fairness but emphasized that every person’s pain deserves respect. Acknowledging one’s suffering is crucial to the healing process, but identifying solely as a victim can hinder life’s potential.
The discussion highlighted the balance between honoring suffering and letting it pass, especially when trauma resurfaces. Participants emphasized the need to recognize progress and resilience, even when faced with permanent losses. Beyond individual healing, they examined collective suffering and its role in political progress, warning against entrenching it as an identity. When collective suffering becomes essential for belonging, it can prevent recognition of empowerment and improvement. Instead, participants advocated for acknowledging achievements and using power ethically to build a hopeful future. This approach, they agreed, can help individuals and groups heal and grow while respecting unique experiences of pain.
Methods for Healing
Following this the participants began a discussion on various methods used in the healing process.
Participants focused on the following thought-provoking questions:
- What are the stages and signs of healing?
- How does memory healing influence individual and collective action?
- How can methodologies balance addressing pain without exacerbating it?
Participants explored various healing methods for individuals and communities, including the Tree of Life, Prayer Sandwich, art-based approaches, narrative techniques, traditional methods, and community-focused healing. These tools aim to assist in processing trauma, fostering resilience, and promoting growth.
The Tree of Life Methodology
The Tree of Life method was highlighted for its simplicity and adaptability. This three-day workshop, led by facilitators who are themselves survivors of trauma, uses the metaphor of a tree to help participants reflect on life stages: roots (foundations), growth, damage, and future potential. Rituals like the use of a “talking stone” promote equality and uninterrupted sharing, while symbolic activities, such as choosing and burning materials from a personal tree, help participants release burdens. Follow-ups reveal significant reductions in trauma symptoms and increased openness to forgiveness. Participants often continue meeting post-workshop for mutual support.
Prayer in Healing
The Prayer Sandwich method, developed by a forgiveness counselor, integrates prayer into healing sessions to foster a safe, supportive environment. Participants can offer their prayers, encouraging both individual and collective reflection. Facilitators emphasized the adaptability of prayer to different preferences and the role of spirituality in alleviating trauma.
Other Approaches
The discussion also touched on integrating traditional practices, community-driven initiatives, and narrative techniques, such as using storytelling to externalize and process experiences. For example, in refugee camps, adaptations of the Tree of Life helped children and counselors manage overwhelming memories while minimizing re-traumatization.
In conclusion
The dialogue underscored the importance of tailoring methods to cultural contexts, fostering collaboration, and recognizing the evolving needs of individuals and groups. By combining innovative and traditional approaches, facilitators and participants aim to empower healing processes while respecting diverse experiences of trauma. This led the dialogue to the importance of understanding that healing and forgiveness are a process. Finally, there was a discussion on the role of reconciliation in healing of memories, its necessity, importance and effectiveness.
